Well, I saw him today and though the meeting wasn’t quite as I expected, I mean, before, when Im about to see him I get all fidgety and anxious then when I finally get to see his face…I would conjure all my speeches, I make sure I know what I would say to him, my complaints, my pains…everything. But when I see his face all is lost. When I see him smile, I get drowned. I forget all my worries, the pain is washed away and I feel completely happy. But today is a different story. I don know if a month absence made me this way, or if the hormones of pregnancy is making me crazy again. Im not sure. I tried to search inside me if the old feeling is still there. If I just kept it hidden. Or maybe I still have the fire but it’s just not that strong anymore. Of course having something, no matter how little or small it is is totally different from having nothing. I can say at the end of the meeting I was still able to feel something for him although its not that strong. I don’t know. Ive always told everybody and even myself that to me, he is like a drug, the more I have him the more I get addicted and I cant seem to stop. Well, given that fact, and the also the one month freedom I got away from him…would that have been enough to free me of the urge? Of the addiction? Im not sure. Things are a little complicated now, especially with some hormones messing with my brain and my feelings as well.