"what makes me different from all your exes..?"
pero ndi ko magawa..instead..i tell you all about how unique and special and one of a kind you are that makes me love you so much. then i keep my fingers crossed hoping that maybe...maybe you got the hidden message conveyed in my sentences...maybe you know how to read between the lines and start telling me what i want to hear..what i want to know.
pero bakit ko nga ba gustong malaman pa kung anong ikinaiba ko sa knila? bkit?..perhaps its the paranoia in me...the insecurities..the fear...im afraid that if i am not special..if i am just like all of them..your past...i might end up like them too...it scares the hell out of me. so i need to know..i need to know that you are thinking im special..that you are convinced im different...that you believe im the one and the last. pero pano?
i know one sure way of knowing is by asking...but i cant bring my self to ask you that stupid question..i dont know if im scared to hear the truth..or if im really just that coward.
then finally, one day, i was able to muster enough courage to ask you "the question" but i dont know what to make out of your answer....
me: babe, what makes me special?
you: huh?
me: i mean..what makes me different from all of your ex's
you: hmm..that's a tough one..i never really compare you with them. Anyway, what makes you ask that kind of question?
me: wala lng..i was just thinking, there should be sunthing special with me because if im just like them, i might end up like them dont you think?
you: hindi naman...hmm..ikaw ang pinaka malambing sa lahat at ang pinaka sexy, saka pinaka magandang ipin
me: (really disappointed) ahh ok..
all answers i got were all superficial. i like the part that you think im the sexiest amongst us but i am not satisfied. my paranoia wasnt satiated. i wanted a different answer...a more meaningful one. (sigh)
and another question popped in my mind...a question i probably would never ask you...a question you probably cant answer...."am i good enough?"
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